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So called "Personal improvment" has never been so prevalent and we have never been exposed to so much contradictory information. Precisely for this reason, because I myself encountered a lot of advice that was more harmful than useful, I decided to dedicate myself to researching the term that defines all our romantic relationships, which is called "Trauma bond".

What exactly is it?

Trauma bond occurs when the narcissist repeats the cycle of abuse with another person, which fosters the need for validation and love from the abused person. Traumatic bonding often occurs in romantic relationships, however, it can also occur between colleagues, family members, and friends. Most often, however, we associate it with romantic relationships.

Why is this actually happening?

It happens when your trauma "bumps" into another person's trauma.

There are several types and each such attachment manifests itself differently because we are all individuals, with different experiences, we come from different environments, emotional family ties and upbringing. We all express our emotional needs in a different way and often unconsciously do it in toxic ways, because that's how we've learned. This is how we gained an impression and image of relationships in childhood, so if we lacked parental love and attention, we could develop an anxious pattern that makes us always do everything to get the love of other people. We please, lift ourselves up, diminish ourselves because we believe that this way we will DESERVE love.

On the other side of such a relationship is very often a person who has a pattern of behavior in which he is terrified of emotional closeness, so when emotions appear, he withdraws. We call this Avoidant attachment. The more emotions are shown, the more distant the person becomes, which forces the other party (Anxious attachment) to try harder and higher in order to win love. In this relationship, a trauma bond is created, which has its starting point in childhood.

Sa svakim takvim toksičnim odnosom, trauma bond u nama se produbljuje. Iz jednog odnosa u drugi vučemo iste obrasce, “bogatiji” za nove traume. I u svakom novom odnosu ponavljamo isti, zapetljani krug, radeći iste greške, sve do trenutka dok ne prepoznamo i ne osvijestimo obrazac.

Along the way, I can help you and guide you step by step through my coaching programs.